


help us we're suffering

by mirairai



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, chatfic, help them, idk how to be chaotic, what is being funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25526395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirairai/pseuds/mirairai
Summary: idk if this exists already buti7 chatfic lets go
Relationships: Izumi Iori/Nanase Riku, Izumi Mitsuki/Nikaidou Yamato/Rokuya Nagi, Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku, MOST OF THESE ARE JUST IMPLIED OK? OK, Momo/Yuki (IDOLiSH7)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 95





	1. oh no

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all i needed an outlet from all my angst fics im sorryyyyyy
> 
> Anyway
> 
> Thanks to the IDOLiSH7 amino for most of the nicknames uwu
> 
> IDOLiSH7  
> Iori: iori → are you even a child child → bitch brocon  
> Yamato: yamato → dorm dad  
> Mitsuki: mitsuki → dorm mom 2  
> Tamaki: tamaki → pudding child  
> Sogo: sogo → dorm mom 1  
> Nagi: nagi → princely boy  
> Riku: riku → pure innocent child → innocent brocon
> 
> TRIGGER  
> Gaku: gaku → sobaman  
> Tenn: tenn → tenn-nii is tenshi → asshole brocon  
> Ryuu: ryuu → cinnamon roll trying to be a sinnamon roll
> 
> Re:Vale  
> Momo: momo → yuki's #1 fan → annoying married couple #1  
> Yuki: yuki → yuki ikemennn → annoying married couple #2
> 
> ZOOL  
> Haruka: haruka → bitch baby  
> Touma: touma → dog  
> Minami: minami → snake  
> Torao: torao (he legit hasnt appeared yet so aksjkshd)

**riku** added **iori, tenn, touma,** and **12** others to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪ – 2:36 P.M.】

 **iori:** ... Nanase-san

 **gaku:** oh god no

 **riku:** eh? Did i do something wrong???

 **touma:** please no

 **tenn:** no riku, you didn't.

 **haruka:** ... thanks but no thanks

 **haruka** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **touma** added **haruka** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **touma** : don't try and leave again

 **haruka:** bet

 **haruka** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **touma** added **haruka** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **touma:** STOP

 **haruka:** DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO

 **haruka** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **tamaki:** gUYSSSS

 **tamaki:** you guysbwoke me up,,,,

 **riku:** sorry Tamaki ( ；~；)

 **iori:** Yotsuba-san, it's 2pm

 **iori:** how did you just wake up

 **yamato:** i can already sense the amount of chaos coming

 **tamaki:** idk

 **yamato:** and i don't need shinkai's flute to tell me that

 **momo:** i'm sure it can't be that bad (･ัω･ั)

 **gaku:** we'll see about that

 **yamato:** this entire chat is full of problems

 **yamato:** what can't go wrong

 **tenn:** the only problem in here is gaku

 **gaku:** YOU BRAT

 **gaku:** SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU COWARD

 **tenn** : if it were bearable to look at i would

 **gaku:** WHY YOU-

 **gaku:** I WILL PERSONALLY GO OVER TO YOUR PLACE AND KICK YOUR ASS

 **tenn:** bet

 **ryuu:** i wasn't planning on coming online

 **ryuu:** but i think i need to intervene

 **yamato:** no don't

 **yamato:** i want to see what happens

 **momo:** this isn't a drama yamato!!! (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

 **yamato:** might as well be

 **mitsuki:** wtf

 **mitsuki:** this is why my phone was blowing up????

 **gaku:** tenn

 **gaku:** open your door

 **tenn:** fuck no

 **ryuu:** i-

 **ryuu:** you actually went to his house????

 **yamato:** omfg

 **momo:** nee riku?

 **riku:** yes, Momo-san??

 **momo:** may i have admin privileges? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

 **riku:** okay!

 **yamato:** oh no

 **iori:** Nanase-san please don't

 **riku** made **momo** an admin

 **iori:** ...

 **yamato:** riku

 **riku:** ???

 **momo:** hehehheheh

 **dorm mom 2:** i worry about that laugh

 **dorm mom 2:** what

 **are you even a child child:** ...Momo-san

 **pure innocent child:** uwahhh \\(>o<)ﾉ

 **dorm dad:** i can't even tell who's who

 **dorm mom 1:** Why is my phone going off so often...?

 **dorm mom 1:** Ah

 **dorm dad:** momo-san

 **dorm dad:** are you implying something here

 **yuki's #1 fan:** what ever do you mean~?

 **tenn-nii is tenshi:** i leave

 **tenn-nii is tenshi:** for 10 minutes

 **are you even a child child:** Nanase-san

 **are you even a child child:** You actual brocon...

 **dorm dad:** ah kujo

 **pure innocent child:** can you be talking iori?? (ノ｀Д´)ノ

 **dorm dad:** how'd things with yaotome go?

 **tenn-nii is tenshi:** no comment

 **sobaman:** tenn don't act like you didn't just let me into your house and oajgwohdkn

 **tenn-nii is tenshi:** shut up

 **tenn-nii is tenshi:** right now

 **sobaman:** YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE MY PHONE

 **dorm dad:** oya?

 **yuki's #1 fan:** oya oya?

 **yuki:** oya oya oya?

 **dorm dad:** ok you just ruined it

 **yuki ikemennn:** oh don't be like that yamato-kun~

 **dorm dad:** ew no get tf out of this chat

 **minami** added **haruka** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **haruka:** MINAMI

 **dog:** hAH

 **minami:** I apologize, Isumi-san

 **snake:** But we have a bet you know

 **dog:** WHAT THE HELL IS MY NAME

 **snake:** ...

 **haruka:** ... Riku

 **pure innocent child:** yes? owo

 **haruka:** may i have admin privileges

 **pudding child:** and me!

 **haruka:** most definitely not you

 **pudding child:** ahhhh isuminnnn ònó

 **pure innocent child:** okay!

 **are you even** **a child child:** Nanase-san, don't you dare give admin privileges to those two idiots

 **haruka:** WOW IZUMI

 **pudding child:** IORIN MEAN

【 **haruka** →→ **tamaki** – 2:56 P.M. 】

 **haruka:** yotsuba

 **tamaki:** owo?

 **haruka:** war against izumi?

 **tamaki:** war against iorin

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪ – 2:57 P.M.】

 **pure innocent child** made **haruka** and **pudding child** an admin

 **are you even a child child:** NANASE-SAN

 **pure innocent child:** eh??

 **pudding child:** òwó

 **haruka:** this is war

 **bitch brocon:** Isumi-san

 **bitch brocon:** ... Are you joking

 **haruka:** nope :)

 **innocent brocon:** eh????

 **asshole brocon:** ...

 **asshole brocon:** i swear on god isumi haruka

 **asshole brocon:** i will go over to your dorms and beat you up myself

 **haruka:** try it asshole

 **dog:** please no

 **cinnamon roll trying to be a sinnamon roll:** don't fight-

 **sobaman:** no keep going

 **annoying married couple #1:** NO STOP

 **annoying married couple #2:** ah

 **annoying married couple #1:** ... THIS IS WAR

 **bitch baby:** i said that already

 **bitch baby:** ...

 **bitch baby** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **yuki's #1 fan:** NO WAIT I WAS GOING TO CHANGE JT BACK AKSHDJHD

 **yuki's #1 fan:** I SWEAR IT WAS ONLY GOING TO BE FOR A SECOND HHHHHHH

 **yuki's #1 fan:** HARUKA COME BACK I WAA JOKINGGG (╥﹏╥)

 **snake:** I regret to inform you that Haruka has left ZOOL dorms.

 **dorm mom** **2:** i-

 **dog:** HE ACTUALLY LEFT

 **dorm dad:** omg this is gold

 **dog:** i'm going after him brb

 **princely boy:** oh, i think i just saw him run by me

 **dorm mom** **2:** wait wtf

 **dorm mom 2:** i didnt see him, nagi where the hell are you??

 **dorm mom 2:** i thought you were in the dorms??????

 **princely boy:** i went to buy kokona merch~

 **dorm mom 2:** WE HAVE WORK TOGETHER IN 10 MINUTES

 **dorm dad:** oh thank god i dont have work with u two today

 **dorm mom 2:** I- OMFG

 **dorm mom 2:** YOU DO HAVE WORK WITH US TODAY

 **pudding child:** ripppp

 **dorm dad:** oops

 **bitch brocon:** I have never been happier to only have to deal with Nanase-san

 **innocent brocon:** what's that supposed to mean???

 **dog:** guys help

 **cinnamon roll trying to be a sinnamon roll:** what is it touma-kun?

 **dog:** haru's crying

 **bitch brocon:** I am ready to fuckjng combust

 **innocent brocon:** oh no (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 **asshole brocon:** it's what he deserves

 **cinnamon roll trying to be a sinnamon roll:** TENN NO

 **asshole brocon:** what

 **dorm mom 2:** i am screaming but god can't hear me

 **dog** added **haruka** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **haruka:** touma

 **haruka:** why

 **yuki's #1 fan:** HARUKA IM SO SORRYYYYY

 **yuki's #1 fan:** I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAINNNN (〒﹏〒)

 **dog:** that ^

 **dog:** now can someone please change our names back

 **dog:** i'm tired


	2. bunk beds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku asks what tops and bottoms are
> 
> The chat goes wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO NICKNAMES HUZZAH
> 
> You can tell my humor dies by the end akshjss
> 
> Also Torao aCTUALLY comes in now
> 
> (of course he does in a s*x related chapter)
> 
> Enjoy!!!

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 6:54 P.M.】

 **riku:** guys i have a question

 **sogo:** What's wrong Riku-kun?

 **tamaki:** owo?

 **nagi:** yes riku?

 **riku:** what's a top and what's a bottom?

 **mitsuki:** i-

 **yamato:** this is definitely not something i expected to walk in on today

 **iori:** Nanase-san, what in the world

 **riku:** ????

 **riku:** i don't know what it means (´;︵;`)

 **mitsuki:** and it's better that you never know

 **iori:** Where did you even come across this???

 **riku:** i was going through tiktok

 **yamato:** and already we're off to a bad start

 **riku:** and there was a video about us

 **riku:** it said mitsuki, sogo-san and i were bottoms??

 **mitsuki:** OK I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT A BOTTOM

 **yamato:** you sure about that one mitsu?

 **nagi:** are you sure mitsuki?

 **mitsuki:** WHY ARE YOU BOTH TEAMING ON ME

 **mitsuki:** IS IT BECAUSE WE

 **mitsuki:** ...

 **mitsuki:** I am stopping right there

 **momo:** ohohohoho

 **momo:** i am beginning to see some good tea being spilled~

 **iori:** Wait Nii-san

 **iori:** What happened?

 **mitsuki:** NOTHING IMPORTANT

 **tamaki:** mikki

 **tamaki:** i heard weird noises from your room last night

 **mitsuki:** ... ossan

 **mitsuki:** did you lie to me

 **yamato:** about what

 **mitsuki:** about the walls being soundproof

 **yamato:** maybe, maybe not

 **yamato:** you'll never know

 **momo:** NO WAIT HOLD ON

 **momo:** TEA SPILLING TOO FAST

 **momo:** I NEED TO PROCESS THIS

 **iori:** Nii-san

 **iori:** What

 **iori:** Happened

 **gaku:** how does one remove their eyeballs

 **gaku:** i don't want to read anymore

 **yuki:** ohohoho

 **touma:** when in all hell was this a topic of discussion???

 **torao:** if i may jump in

 **mitsuki:** no you may not

 **torao:** allow me to teach them the wonders of sedlamzbzxkmabsjd

 **momo:** torao are you ok??? (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

 **minami:** Inumaru-san took Mido-san's phone

 **haruka:** they're being so fucking loud

 **haruka:** they ruined my combo

 **tenn:** and when did a game combo matter?

 **haruka:** stfu boomer

 **tenn:** i'm only a year older than you

 **iori:** You really just referred to Kujo-san as a boomer...

 **tamaki:** rip isumin's combo

 **tamaki:** you will be missed

 **yamato:** are we really just going to ignore riku's question

 **mitsuki:** THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT

 **riku:** does top and bottom mean something bad??

 **tenn:** ...

 **riku:** oh hi tenn-nii!

 **yamato:** oh fuck

 **gaku:** everyone prepare to run

 **tenn:** who's ass needs to be beaten today? :)

 **nagi:** oh, but riku is the one who brought it up~!

 **riku:** i'm so confused (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

 **riku:** is it really that bad?

 **tamaki:** ...

 **tamaki:** i thought this was about bunk beds...

 **mitsuki:** NO THIS IS MOST DEFINITELY ABOUT BUNK BEDS

 **torao:** no it is not

 **haruka:** it isn't..?

 **haruka:** also how tf did you get your phone back???

 **minami:** Mido-san, why do I hear Inumaru-san screaming?

 **torao:** not important

 **haruka:** did you kill him????

 **minami:** If Inumaru-san is still screaming, then he has not.

 **haruka:** but now it's quiet

 **minami:** Ah

 **minami:** Well then we must prepare Inumaru-san's funeral

 **riku:** can i go??

 **minami:** Of course~

 **touma:** I AM NOT DEAD

 **minami:** Oh, what a shame

 **touma:** HEY

 **tamaki:** oh i found a definition

 **sogo:** Tamaki-kun why did you search it up???

 **tamaki:** it means

 **mitsuki:** NONONONO

 **mitsuki:** PRESERVE THE INNOCENCE OF OTHERS

 **yamato:** isn't it better that they find out now?

 **yamato:** i mean we literally

 **mitsuki:** nOOOO STOP RIGHT THERE

 **nagi:** but mitsuki, we need to

 **mitsuki:** I WILL NOT LISTEN TO EITHER OF YOU AKDHKDHDJDHD

 **nagi:** ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡

 **haruka:** seriously this wasn't about bunk beds??

 **touma:** i-

 **minami:** Isumi-san has a level of innocence I could only wish to obtain

 **torao:** haruka how do you not know?

 **haruka:** what am i supposed to know???

 **torao:** that top and bottom really means

 **mitsuki:** STFU RIGHT THE HELL NOW

 **ryuu:** i think i walked right into a train wreck

 **ryuu:** what kind of conversation-

 **gaku:** just slowly back away, ryuu

 **riku:** can someone please answer my question? (〒﹏〒)

 **momo:** um

 **mitsuki:** uh

 **tenn:** if anyone answers him i will cut you

 **riku:** but tenn-nii, i really want to knowww

 **tenn:** i'll just show you then

 **yamato:** wait

 **gaku:** tenn wtf

 **mitsuki:** HOLD ON NO

 **momo:** WHAT

 **sogo:** Excuse me?

 **iori:** I-

 **minami:** I did not expect Kujo-san to be this forward...

 **ryuu:** Tenn-

 **touma:** isn't this very very wrong???

 **tenn:** i know what you're all thinking

 **tenn:** and the answer is hell no

 **riku:** tenn-nii said this really was about bunk beds!

 **iori:** i-

 **yamato:** how long are we going to hide the truth from him?

 **tenn:** forever :)

 **yamato:** kujo, he's 18, you can't hide it from him forever

 **tenn:** i can and i will

 **riku:** ?????

 **torao:** ...

 **torao:** tops and bottoms are positions in sex

 **torao:** top gives and bottom receives

 **touma:** ...

 **touma:** your phone privileges are now GONE

 **torao:** try me you dog

 **haruka:** OMG

 **haruka:** BOTH OF YOU QUIT YELLING IM TRYING TO PERFECT COMBO THIS SONG

 **minami:** I would rather you all not chase each other around the house screaming, thank you

 **riku:** Ohhhhh

 **riku:** then the tiktok video was right!

 **tenn:** ...

 **tenn:** what

 **yamato:** wait hold up

 **nagi:** OH i was not expecting this

 **mitsuki:** I-

 **tamaki:** RIKKUN HAS DONE THE DEEDDDDDD

 **sogo:** Tamaki-kun don't say it like that-!

 **yuki:** i am pleasantly surprised~

 **yamato:** ... pleasantly...?

 **gaku:** this entire conversation is a wreck

 **tenn:** riku

 **riku:** hm?

 **tenn:** with who?

 **riku:** that's classified information tenn-nii! :]

 **mitsuki:** as one of your moms (apparently) i would LIKE TO KNOW

 **yamato:** oh so that's why I heard so many noises a few nights ago

 **nagi:** iori you are being awfully quiet

 **mitsuki:** OI WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING ABOUT MY LITTLE BROTHER HAAAAH???

 **yamato:** we know a guilty face when we see one

 **nagi:** also iori ran to his room a moment ago~

 **tenn:** izumi iori

 **tenn:** what did you do

 **tenn:** to my precious brother?

 **riku:** tenn-nii he didn't do anything! (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

 **iori:** Nanase-san, it's better we come clean at this point

 **riku:** but tenn-nii might ACTUALLY kill you!!!

 **iori:** a risk I was willing to take when this started

 **tamaki:** @~@

 **tamaki:** this is entire conversation is too CONFUSINGGG

 **yamato:** what is even going on anymore

 **mitsuki:** iori

 **gaku:** what did i come back to

 **iori:** Nanase-san and I

 **riku:** are dating!

 **tamaki:** ohhhhh

 **yamato:** ah that makes more sense

 **mitsuki:** I MEAN I KNEW BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER

 **iori:** I apologize Nii-san

 **iori:** I was just waiting for the correct timing

 **tenn:** ...

 **riku:** um, tenn-nii?

 **tenn:** izumi iori

 **tenn:** after i give you a full lecture

 **tenn:** you better take care of my brother well

 **iori:** well I'm certainly doing a better job than you have lately

 **tamaki:** OHHHHHHH

 **haruka:** OH SHIT

 **gaku:** izumi-otouto, you might want to start running

 **ryuu:** we were hanging out with Tenn but he called a taxi just now

 **mitsuki:** IORI HIDE

 **riku:** tenn-nii please don't kill him!!!

 **nagi:** I SHALL BLOCK THE DOOR~

 **yamato:** i am so ready for the world to end now


	3. taste you taste you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamato sees an ad and asks a question
> 
> Chaos obviously ensues

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪ – 12:34 A.M.】

**yamato:** huh

**yamato:** the trigger ads are as spicy as ever

**gaku:** what is that meant to mean

**yamato:** why do you think i'm implying something here?

**ryuu:** guys

**ryuu:** please don't fight at an hour like this

**sogo:** Yamato-san, are you talking about the new perfume ads?

**yamato:** yep

**yamato:** it interrupted the drama i was watching tho

**mitsuki:** THAT WAS NOT A DRAMA

**mitsuki:** WHY WERE YOU EVEN WATCHING THAT IN THE MAIN ROOM

**yamato:** what ever do you mean mitsu?

**sogo:** Ah I just saw what he was watching

**sogo:** I will be right back

**sogo:** One moment :)

**tamaki:** oh no

**tamaki:** sou-chan used the smiley face

**tamaki:** yama-san, you might want to run

**iori:** Why is there screaming in the dorms at this hour?!

**nagi:** oh, is yamato ok?

**nagi:** his screams are louder than kokona!

**riku:** what happened???

**mitsuki:** WAIT SOGO HAS A VASE

**mitsuki:** BE RIGHT BACK

**gaku:** what is going on??

**iori:** The adults are practically fighting in the common room

**touma:** and somehow i thought ZOOL was more chaotic...

**haruka:** you were sorely mistaken

**riku:** did i just hear something break????

**minami:** Osaka-san, please do refrain from killing him

**minami:** As much as I hate to admit it, he is still an essential part of the drama we're shooting

**nagi:** everything just went quiet~

**nagi:** i am going to check on them!

**yamato:** natsume, what do you mean, "as much as you hate to admit it"...?

**minami:** Take it any way you'd like

**yamato:** that isn't an answer...

**tamaki:** ah, he's still alive!

**riku:** Yamato-san, are you ok????

**yamato:** hm? yeah

**yamato:** i'd be more worried about the vase

**mitsuki:** i can't believe sogo actually threw it

**nagi:** OH it's pieces are everywhere...

**tamaki:** press f to pay respects for the vase

**haruka:** f

**momo:** f

**mitsuki:** f

**riku:** f???

**gaku:** how did we go from the perfume ads to nikaido almost dying-

**yamato:** ok so you're just going to disregard the vase

**yamato:** that ACTUALLY died

**yamato:** not cool yaotome

**ryuu:** i'm more worried about why our ads are on something like that

**riku:** like what??

**mitsuki:** LIKE NOTHING

**sogo:** I would rather you not know, Riku-kun

**riku:** (• ▽ •;)

**yamato:** but those ads really do beg the question

**yamato:** are you sure you guys aren't strippers?

**mitsuki:** YAMATO FUCKING NIKAIDO

**sogo:** Do I have to get another vase? :)

**yamato:** no you don't

**yamato:** you really don't

**gaku:** yes you do

**tenn:** TRIGGER is not a group of strippers

**yamato:** with all the ads i've been seeing, i seriously doubt that

**gaku:** honestly fuck you nikaido

**yamato:** fuck me yourself coward

**mitsuki:** YAMATO

**torao:** may i join? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

**touma:** NO YOU MAY NOT

**momo:** WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING AT 12AM

**momo:** GO TO SLEEP

**haruka:** no

**tamaki:** no

**sogo:** Tamaki-kun, go to bed :)

**tamaki:** AHHH IM GOING IM GOING

**iori:** When do we ever get a break...

**tenn:** never, apparently

**nagi:** oh how i wish for silence

**mitsuki:** (･o･;) 

**yamato:** if nagi's the one saying that then we've really done it

chat name changed to **TRIGGER? More like sTRIPPER**

**tenn:** ...

**gaku:** ...

**ryuu:** ...

**yamato:** well then

**nagi:** OH

**mitsuki:** i-

**riku:** eh??

**riku:** what are strippers???

**torao:** strippers are

**touma:** OMFG SHUT UP TORA

**minami:** Fufufufufu

**tenn:** who changed it

**tenn:** let me at them

**tenn:** they will never see the light of day again

**ryuu:** Tenn we aren't allowed to murder anyone

**tenn:** _let me at them_

**iori:** aren't the owner and the admins the only people who can change the chat name

**momo:** YOU REALLY HAD TO CALL US OUT HUH

**yuki:** i see that things have gotten interesting~

**yamato:** too interesting...

**tenn:** i know for a fact riku didn't change it

**momo:** fair

**haruka:** he doesn't even know what strippers are

**haruka:** how would he have been able to change it to that

**tenn:** this leaves you two and yotsuba tamaki

**tenn:** i'm immediately ruling out momo-san because i know he wouldn't

**momo:** YES

**haruka:** that is a bullshit reason

**tenn:** shut up suspect

**haruka:** omfg

**haruka:** just let me play games in peace

**touma:** why would you even be playing games at this hour???

**haruka:** because i can

**touma:** that's not a good reason-

**haruka:** it's a better reason compared to kujo's

**tenn:** haruka changed the chat name

**haruka:** NO I DID NOT

**gaku:** i feel like he only picked you because you're annoying him

**tenn:** gaku would be correct

**tenn:** i'm surprised you had the braincells to come to that conclusion

**gaku:** WHY YOU-

**ryuu:** now, now, not this late at night

【 **haruka** →→ **tamaki** – 12:53 A.M. 】

**haruka:** yotsuba

**tamaki:** zzzzz

**haruka:** that's not how faking being asleep works idiot

**tamaki:** ISUMIN MEAN ಠ︵ಠ

**haruka:** you changed the chat name didn't you

**tamaki:** maybe (・∀・)

**haruka:** as much as i love the chaos

**haruka:** kujo is accusing me over nothing

**tamaki:** oop time to change it bacc

【♪☆ Idol Chat ☆♪ – 12:58 A.M.】

chat name changed to **help us we're suffering**

**tamaki:** i changed the name

**tamaki:** ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

**tamaki** left **help us we're suffering**

**sogo** added **tamaki** to **help us we're suffering**

**sogo:** Not so fast Tamaki-kun :)

**tamaki:** (ʘᗩʘ’)

**yamato:** man tama will be dead by tomorrow morning

**mitsuki:** time to prepare his funeral

**nagi:** NOOOOOO TAMAKIIIII

**haruka:** hit f to pay respects

**momo:** ok now that that's settled

**momo:** EVERYONE GO TO BED

**momo** deleted **help us we're suffering**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO THIS ISN'T OVER
> 
> I ONLY HAD MOMO DELETE IT FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT
> 
> Also I'm realizing that Yuki has barely been talking and I am sORRY
> 
> I just don't think that Yuki uses his phone that often TvT


	4. nagi really said male pregnancy rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time Nagi has something to ask
> 
> Sanities are questioned
> 
> Common sense is gone
> 
> And everyone is tired

**riku** added **iori, tenn, touma,** and **12** others to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 7:01 A.M.】

 **riku:** good morning!

 **momo:** everyone better have slept

 **momo:** or you'll have a problem on your hands

 **sogo:** my life is already a problem

 **mitsuki:** i?? no?????

 **yamato:** i slept at 6am

 **nagi:** but it is 7am?

 **mitsuki:** you old man i swear to cHRIST ALMIGHTY

 **mitsuki:** GET SOME MORE SLEEP

 **yamato:** i need to do something in like five minutes

 **mitsuki:** OMG

 **nagi:** we should not have stayed up that long qvq

 **iori:** what did you even stay up doing?

 **yamato:** having se

 **mitsuki:** WATCHING KOKONA

 **yamato:** for the first half ಠ◡ಠ

 **misuki:** SHUT UP

 **nagi:** oh mitsuki

 **nagi:** there was something i would like to confirm~

 **mitsuki:** what is it nagi?

 **yamato:** if this is about what you asked me after last night i swear to god

 **nagi:** are you pregnant?

 **tenn:** ...

 **tenn** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **gaku:** rokuya, no offense but wtf

 **gaku** added **tenn** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **tenn:** fuck you gaku

 **yamato:** nagi did i not tell you that's impossible

 **mitsuki:** .

 **mitsuki:** WHAT

 **mitsuki:** WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT FROM

 **nagi:** you haven't been feeling very well lately

 **nagi:** you have both nausea and dizziness!

 **nagi:** are those not symptoms for pregnancy?

 **mitsuki:** i

 **mitsuki:** ok they are but

 **mitsuki:** males can't get pregnant-

 **nagi:** how are we sure??

 **mitsuki:** i-

 **mitsuki:** LITERAL SCIENTISTS HAVE STUDIED THIS

 **yamato:** is what i told him last night but he wouldn't believe me

 **nagi:** they could be lying~

 **mitsuki:** it's weird to see you being sus of anyone

 **mitsuki:** but you're being sus of the wRONG PEOPLE

 **iori:** Nii-san where did you learn what 'sus' means??

 **mitsuki:** i saw it in a magazine

 **ryuu:** there are magazines on those sort of things...?

 **iori:** i really question the media

 **gaku:** wait can we PLEASE rewind?

 **touma:** yes, let's-

 **minami:** Rokuya-san, how did you get the idea that Izumi-san is pregnant?

 **nagi:** he has been feeling very sick lately

 **iori:** wait why was i not aware of this?

 **riku:** mitsuki is sick??? (´;︵;`)

 **sogo:** How did the rest of us not know that Mitsuki-san was unwell?

 **tamaki:** mikki nooooo q~q

 **mitsuki:** it's not THAT bad

 **yamato:** you spend most of your time in the bathroom

 **yamato:** how is it "not that bad"

 **nagi:** mitsuki please take care of yourself

 **momo:** MITSUKI GET BETTER FASTTTT

 **momo:** I WANT TO MC TOGETHER AGAINNNN

 **gaku:** take better care of yourself izumi-ani

 **ryuu:** get well soon mitsuki-kun! that way we can all meet up again!

 **mitsuki:** its really not that bad but thank you guys qvq

 **touma:** shouldn't you go see a doctor-

 **tenn:** that's probably a good idea

 **nagi:** yes, we should get them to scan your stomach~

 **mitsuki:** FOR THE LAST TIME

 **mitsuki:** I AM NOT PREGNANT

 **nagi:** we have to make sure!

 **riku:** wait males can get pregnant??

 **iori:** Nanase-san no-

 **haruka:** ...

 **haruka:** can they...?

 **touma:** YOU TOO??

 **tamaki:** idk

 **tamaki:** maybe they can

 **iori:** how are you and isumi-san in my year

 **momo:** do your teachers even teach you biology???

 **ryuu:** i think you need new teachers

 **mitsuki:** we might was well be teaching you biology at this point-

 **gaku:** i think we'd do a better job tbh

 **sogo:** For sure

 **torao:** we need to issue a sex ed class for the minors

 **touma:** normally i hate agreeing with you but

 **touma:** i think they need it

 **tenn:** who knew the minors were designated dumbasses

 **tenn:** except for riku

 **gaku:** you're aware that you're a minor too right-?

 **tenn:** compared to them, no

 **haruka:** i'd be more worried on how you know this stuff anyway

 **tamaki:** yeah isn't it bad to know this much sexual stuff

 **tenn:** ...

 **tenn:** this is about common sense

 **tenn:** which apparently you do not have

 **nagi:** guys we are now going to the hospital~

 **tenn:** case in point

 **mitsuki:** idk why you insisted on coming nagi

 **mitsuki:** and wHY DID YOU DRAG THE OLD MAN HERE TOO

 **yamato:** i actually came of my own volition but aight

 **riku:** oh is that why the car is gone?

 **iori:** Nii-san as your brother i feel offended that i was not called to go as well

 **mitsuki:** you have to leave for school soon iori

 **mitsuki:** you still need to attend class

 **mitsuki:** ill be fine!

 **iori:** ...

 **iori:** if you say so Nii-san

 **yamato:** we're going in

 **nagi:** we shall keep you updated~

 **riku:** good luck!

 **touma:** is that really the phrasing you'd use for this situation...?

 **sogo:** Regardless of that, I'm worried about how most of you seem to think that males can get pregnant

 **haruka:** how would we know?

 **minami:** Maybe through your missing common sense, Isumi-san

 **tenn:** i have lost all respect for every minor but riku and natsume minami

 **iori:** ...

 **tenn:** i had no respect for you from the get-go

 **riku:** but he's my boyfriend???

 **tenn:** i don't have to like him

 **gaku:** you might want to delete that one tenn

 **ryuu:** yeah, before mitsuki-kun sees

 **sogo:** I would suggest that as well

 **tenn:** what

 **momo:** based on some good ol' nights at the bar

 **momo:** mitsuki can and will beat your ass if you insult his brother

 **tenn:** i wouldn't worry about someone shorter than me

 **iori:** ...

 **iori:** first off

 **iori:** how fucking dare you

 **tamaki:** :000000

 **haruka:** oh shit

 **gaku:** why is everyone panicking-

 **riku:** iori rarely curses,,,,,

 **momo:** oH FUCK

 **iori:** second off

 **iori:** at least i have an older brother who cares

 **iori:** a family that didn't sell me off

 **iori:** and a boyfriend who isn't weirdly obsessed with soba

 **gaku:** wow you're insulting me in there too huh

 **riku:** iori-!

 **tenn:** oh so this is what we're doing now

 **ryuu:** no it is not!

 **ryuu:** don't fight you two!

 **momo:** it's infinitely harder to corral those two without mitsuki or yamato huh,,,,

 **sogo:** Everyone :)

 **iori:** i'm stopping now

 **tenn:** as am i

 **momo:** nevermind

 **momo:** i take that previous statement back

 **gaku:** we all really need an osaka in our lives

 **ryuu:** he made it look so easy...

 **nagi:** oh-

 **yamato:** we leave

 **mitsuki:** for fifteen minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tO BE CONTINUED
> 
> It's 2am and this is already pretty long so oop
> 
> Hope u enjoyed that absolute mess owo


	5. sex ed with torao and the gang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torao is (kind of??) given permission to teach the minors that male pregnancy isn't possible
> 
> Chaoschaoschaoschaos
> 
> This is a continuation of the last chapter, "nagi really said male pregnancy rights"

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 7:56 A.M.】

 **iori:** Nii-san!

 **riku:** welcome back everyone! (◍•ᴗ•◍)

 **sogo:** How did things go in the hospital?

 **mitsuki:** like ive been saying

 **mitsuki:** im NOT PREGNANT

 **yamato:** apparently he just has a stomach bug

 **nagi:** thankfully (´-﹏-`；)

 **haruka:** that still doesn't debunk the theory that males can pregnant

 **minami:** How do you still think that they can pregnant-?

 **iori:** i-

 **torao:** i think it is time

 **torao:** for a lesson

 **torao:** on s e x

 **touma:** oh boy here we go

 **tenn:** wait

 **tenn:** riku

 **riku:** yes tenn-nii?

 **tenn:** can you kick yourself out for a while?

 **yamato:** doesn't he of all people need this the most-???

 **riku:** ok!

 **iori:** No Nanase-san don't-

 **mitsuki:** of everyone here you need it the most-

 **riku:** eh?

 **riku:** now im confused (＠_＠;)

 **yamato:** just stay here riku,,,

 **tenn:** no

 **iori:** You can't continue to hide these things from him Kujo-san

 **tenn:** you simply want him to learn to fulfill your desires

 **riku:** desires???

 **iori:** It's nothing important, Nanase-san

 **riku:** ????

 **torao:** we'll get to those later

 **mitsuki:** no you won't

 **mitsuki:** i absolutely rEFUSE to let you teach them what kinks are

 **haruka:** the hell are kinks??

 **momo:** oh to be innocent

 **yamato:** you may have said too much mitsu

 **mitsuki:** I'M REALIZING THAT NOW DAMMIT

 **touma:** TORA JUST MOVE ON

 **torao:** yeesh i was about to

 **torao:** can someone shut the dog up

 **minami:** On it

 **haruka:** WHY IS TOUMA SCREAMING NOW

 **torao:** idk, you tell me

 **minami:** The situation is being dealt with, please just continue~

 **haruka:** what-

 **momo:** i think touma just died

 **riku:** no don't kill him!

 **touma:** WHY

 **touma:** AM I THE ONE SUFFERING

 **minami:** Just listen quietly and I won't do it again~

 **touma:** ...

 **touma:** understood

 **haruka:** i live under the same roof as you two

 **haruka:** yet i have no clue what just happened

 **torao:** i see you minami~

 **minami:** Please just do keep going Mido-san

 **torao:** aight

 **torao:** kids, welcome to sexual education with torao and the gang

 **iori:** and the gang...?

 **haruka:** just let him have that ig

 **torao:** today we are going to learn about

 **torao:** the fact that males CANNOT get pregnant

 **torao:** you fucking idiots

 **tamaki:** but how do we know that?

 **sogo:** He's about to teach you Tamaki-kun

 **torao:** let's pull up a chart of the male reproductive system

 **mitsuki:** WAIT WHY DO WE NEED PICTURES

 **torao:** because seeing is believing~

 **gaku:** i mean

 **ryuu:** sure?

 **yamato:** am i allowed to leave-

 **torao:** no, every adult here is going to help

 **torao:** as well as every minor that isn't a dumbass

 **mitsuki:** wait we're helping??

 **tenn:** i would rather not be a part of this "lesson"

 **gaku:** you're being a scaredy cat

 **tenn:** fuck you gaku

 **gaku:** fuck me yourself you brat

 **tenn:** i'll stay just to prove you wrong

 **ryuu:** wh-

 **ryuu:** how does that work everytime???

 **gaku:** because his hatred for me is just that strong

 **tenn:** i live to spite you

 **yamato:** sometimes i wonder if you two are really dating

 **gaku:** i ask that myself too

 **touma:** i-

 **mitsuki:** aren't you the one in the relationship???

 **torao:** [image]

 **torao:** dear fanfic readers, you will never know what this is ಠ‿ಠ

 **momo:** why did you use one that graphic???

 **mitsuki:** GET THAT OFF MY SCREEN

 **touma:** TORA DELETE IT

 **riku:** o.o

 **yuki:** oh my

 **nagi:** OH

 **haruka:** what is that-???

 **torao:** it's called the male reproductive system

 **iori** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **tenn** has left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **gaku:** cowards

 **yamato** added **iori** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **gaku** added **tenn** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **tenn:** first off, fuck you

 **iori:** second off, no

 **riku:** woah

 **riku:** they're in sync! :D

 **tenn:** no we are not

 **iori:** no we are not

 **momo:** omg im crying i-

 **yuki:** tsundere brocons really think alike i see~

 **tamaki** has kicked **torao** from ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **momo:** awwww this was getting funny though-

 **sogo:** Didn't Tamaki-kun fall asleep?

 **iori:** I took his phone

 **iori:** Problem solved

 **tenn:** i can't believe i'm saying this but

 **tenn:** good job izumi iori

 **riku:** :DDDDDD

 **iori:** What is that for, Nanase-san-?

 **riku:** you guys are getting along!

 **tenn:** no we're not

 **iori:** No

 **riku:** :(((((((

 **haruka:** torao's asking

 **haruka:** and i quote

 **haruka:** "who kicked me out of chat"

 **haruka:** "i WILL report them"

 **minami:** What did you reply with?

 **minami:** He's been staring at his phone for a good five minutes now

 **touma:** whatever you said might've broke him-

 **haruka:** i said "okay boomer"

 **haruka:** followed by "you literal becky"

 **haruka:** and then left the dm

 **momo:** OMG I- BWAHAHAHAH

 **touma:** yeesh harsh

 **minami:** Entirely deserving though

 **mitsuki:** now that that nightmare is over

 **mitsuki:** YAMATO DRIVE US BACK HOME

 **riku:** wait you haven't left the hospital?

 **nagi:** not yet~

 **yamato:** alright alright

 **mitsuki:** OMG EYES ON THE ROAD

 **mitsuki:** nagi take his phone

 **nagi:** understood~

 **riku:** see you guys later!

 **haruka:** i still don't know if males can or cannot get pregnant

 **touma:** i'm-

 **momo:** i

 **momo:** let's just save this discussion for another time

 **minami:** Agreed

 **tamaki:** OK

 **tamaki:** WHO STOLE MY PHONE EARLIER

 **haruka:** oh fuck

 **riku:** tamaki when his phone is stolen is just as scary as when someone steals his pudding wwwww

 **sogo:** Agreed

 **sogo:** You might want to run, Iori-kun

 **tamaki:** oh so iorin took my phone earlier :)

 **mitsuki:** HEY DON'T KILL MY BROTHER WHILE I'M GONE

 **iori:** You're saying that like it's completely acceptable for me to die when you get here??

 **tenn:** yes yotsuba tamaki, kill him

 **riku:** noooooo pleaseeee

 **iori:** why am i always the one getting attacked-


	6. gIrLs?!?!?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone wakes up to an unexpected surprise–

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what I made this time
> 
> It's more of a mess than usual akhskdhdhd
> 
> Anyway yes hope you have fun reading

【♪☆ Idol Chat ☆♪– 6:22 A.M.】

 **iori:** Can

 **iori:** Can everyone come online please?

 **sogo:** What's wrong, Iori-kun?

 **mitsuki:** what happened iori?

 **tamaki:** hnnnngh what is it iorinnnnn

 **nagi:** were you sleeping again, tamaki~?

 **yamato:** its 6am of course he's sleeping

 **mitsuki:** those idiots aside, what's wrong iori?

 **iori:** Please come to Nanase-san's room

 **yamato:** why didn't you just get us yourself-?

 **iori:** I was unsure if all of you were awake

 **nagi:** why were you even in riku's room, iori? ಠ◡ಠ

 **iori:** The details are not important right now, Rokuya-san

 **nagi:** oh no, the details are VERY important

 **mitsuki:** oh my god

 **yamato:** wait mitsu did you go to riku's room?

 **mitsuki:** yeah

 **mitsuki:** holy shit

 **sogo:** I'll be coming momentarily

 **nagi:** i am heading to riku's now~

 **nagi:** OH

 **yamato:** ok now im curious, im coming

 **yamato:** ...what

 **gaku:** ah

**gaku: @ryuu**

**ryuu:** yeah?

 **ryuu:** oh, they have the same situation?

 **gaku:** so it seems

 **torao:** can someone explain what's going on?

 **minami:** ... Mido-san, please come to Isumi-san's room

 **minami:** Inumaru-san is here as well

 **yuki:** it seems that everyone here is in a predicament

 **yuki:** let me guess

 **yamato:** there's no way in hell you're getting it right

 **yuki:** everyone's dear centers got turned into females

 **yamato:** ...

 **yamato:** how in the fuck did you get that-

 **yuki:** because my dear momo is beside me

 **mitsuki:** wait momo-san too???

 **sogo:** What do we do?

 **gaku:** why are you asking the group chat like we know what we're doing ever

 **yamato:** shit u right

 **ryuu:** guys focus on the problem at hand ^^;;

 **yuki:** everyone stop bombarding your centers

 **yuki:** and allow them to speak

 **iori:** Wait a moment I have to get Nanase-san's phone for him

 **iori:** Or her

 **tamaki:** wwww that's confusinggggg

 **mitsuki:** pronouns got confusing real quick huh

 **torao:** we need confirmation

 **nagi:** confirmation??

 **ryuu:** i think he's asking for pictures

 **iori:** I refuse

 **gaku:** no

 **yuki:** i would rather not do that to my dear, thank you

 **yamato:** and the overprotective boyfriends strike again

 **mitsuki:** you say that like you wouldn't do the same ಠ∀ಠ

 **sogo:** And now Yamato-san left the room-

 **tamaki:** his face looked red right?

 **nagi:** oh he was blushing~

 **yamato:** that is not fair mitsu

 **mitsuki:** heheheheh

 **mitsuki:** dw i'd be the same wkwkwkwk

 **tamaki:** nnngh get a roommmmm

 **sogo:** Tamaki-kun!

 **gaku:** oh fuck

 **gaku:** OH FUCK

 **gaku: @ryuu** quit making breakfast and come here

 **gaku:** help me i don't know what i'm doing

 **ryuu:** what is it gaku?

 **ryuu:** oH

 **iori:** W a i t

 **mitsuki:** wait what happened?

 **yamato:** you're all in the same room wouldn't you know-?

 **sogo:** Oh goodness

 **nagi:** OH MY GODDDDD

 **mitsuki:** HOLY- YAMATO COME BACK HERE AND HELP US YOU OLD MAN

 **yamato:** ok ok i'm coming-

 **yuki:** oh my

 **yuki:** what has transpired?

 **minami:** Based on Rokuya-san's texts to me just now

 **minami:** IDOLiSH7 is panicking extremely hard

 **minami:** One moment, I need to respond

 **torao:** minami said he's busy helping rokuya

 **torao:** so i'm giving the lay down

 **yuki:** and?

 **torao:** apparently nanase is having a period

 **momo:** wait hold on i hAVE to get online for this

 **yuki:** that just raises a lot of questions on the nature of whatever this is

 **yuki:** also you should be resting momo

 **momo:** i can text just fine darling~

 **ryuu:** tenn is having one too

 **momo:** oya?

 **yuki:** twins really do seem to share a lot together hm?

 **momo:** yeah, because i don't think i'm having one owo

 **torao:** touma and haruka seem like they're not having one either

 **minami:** And how would you be able to tell-?

 **torao:** _MིAིGིIིCི_ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

 **yamato:** what

 **yamato:** this is what i come back to??

 **sogo:** Iori-kun asked us to leave the room a moment ago

 **nagi:** tamaki is still in there as well though~

 **momo:** woah does tamaki know what to do??

 **sogo:** Apparently he's had to help with it in his orphanage before

 **yamato:** momo-san, you have a sister right?

 **momo:** yup! i was usually asked to help her

 **sogo:** Is there anything we can go do to help Riku-kun?

 **momo:** hmmmmm

 **momo:** it's different for every girl but

 **momo:** first you should buy pads for the blood and probably a heat pack

 **momo:** nee-chan always complained about the cramps (╥﹏╥)

 **nagi:** oh, tamaki did mention that

 **momo:** also buy anything Riku is craving

 **momo:** unless it's milk

 **momo:** that usually adds more hurt ;v;

 **momo:** oh oh and

 **momo:** if Riku accidentally bleeds on anything, wash it while it's still kinda fresh

 **momo:** unsurprisingly, blood stains T~T

 **yuki:** is fresh even the correct word, dearest?

 **momo:** AH i mean like before the blood dries ahskdhjd

 **yamato:** mitsu just put the bed sheets in the washer

 **ryuu:** gaku did the same for tenn

 **gaku:** tenn was whining the entire damn time

 **gaku:** ungrateful brat

 **ryuu:** let tenn be, he seems like he's in a lot of pain

 **gaku:** fine

 **gaku:** i'm going out to buy everything for tenn

 **ryuu:** gaku eat breakfast first-

 **ryuu:** nevermind, he just left ^^;

 **yuki:** he really cares about tenn-kun, hmm?

 **momo:** as much as he says he doesn't heheheheh

 **minami:** Isumi-san is freaking out

 **torao:** he keeps asking if this is permanent

 **momo:** hopefully not wwwwwww

 **momo:** i'd have to buy a whole new wardrobe!

 **ryuu:** that's your biggest concern...?

 **yamato:** it's probably just one of those 24 hour curses

 **nagi:** then they'll be back tomorrow?

 **yamato:** probably

 **gaku:** wait

 **gaku:** there are different sizes???

 **minami:** Of what?

 **gaku:** of pads-

 **yamato:** jeez there are different sized girls, does that not make sense to you-???

 **yamato:** our manager isn't the only girl in the world you know

 **gaku:** i-

 **momo:** BWAHAHAHAHAH

 **gaku:** fuck you nikaido

 **yamato:** fuck me yourself

 **minami:** That joke has been very overused...

 **torao:** yeah author, be more creative-

 **fourth wall? what's that?** added **mirairai** to ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **mirairai:** fuck off tora

 **mirairai:** you fucking becky

 **mirairai** left ♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪

 **yamato:** wait who the hell-

 **torao:** oops i didn't think i'd end up summoning her

 **momo:** BAHAHAHAHAH

 **momo:** IDK WHO SHE IS BUT I LOVE HER ALREADY

 **minami:** Mido-san, who was that?

 **torao:** no one

 **torao:** just a bot~

 **yuki:** a bot with some surprisingly colourful language fufufufufu

 **momo:** i wanna be friends with that bot :D

 **ryuu:** can everyone please go back to the topic ^^;;;

 **iori:** Please do

 **nagi:** oh iori you are back~

 **sogo:** How is Riku-kun?

 **iori:** In a lot of pain

 **iori:** I'm going out to buy things for him

 **yamato:** is someone going with you?

 **iori:** Yotsuba-san is coming to help

 **tamaki:** iorin was freaking out and practically begged for me to come with him

 **iori:** No I did not!

 **mitsuki:** quit being a tsundere, i saw it with my own eyes-

 **yamato:** when is ichi not a tsundere though

 **nagi:** he always is TvT

 **iori:** I am not!

 **tamaki:** is what a tsundere would say ಠωಠ

 **iori:** I-

 **iori:** You know what i'm just going to go out on my own

 **tamaki:** noooo you said you'd buy me pudding if i cameeeee

 **iori:** Your rights have been revoked

 **yamato:** can you buy some beer ichi?

 **mitsuki:** ...

 **mitsuki:** HE'S A MINOR YOU IDIOT

 **nagi:** iori can you buy me some kokona merch please~

 **iori:** I am not shopping for everyone!

 **nagi:** awwww (´;︵;`)

 **iori:** I'm leaving now

 **iori:** I need a break from all of you


	7. Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The centers are still girls
> 
> Yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A vERY delayed continuation 
> 
> iM SORRY

【♪☆ Idol Chat ☆♪– 7:30 A.M.】

 **riku:** guys,,,

 **riku:** where did iori go?

 **mitsuki:** didn't he tell you he was gonna buy you stuff?

 **riku:** yeah but

 **riku:** i miss him (╥﹏╥)

 **riku:** i want my boyfriend back,,,

 **yamato:** i'm sure ichi'll be back soon

 **riku:** (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

 **riku:** i want him back nowwwwww

 **tamaki:** was rikkun always this clingy-

 **nagi:** he is quite clingy but

 **sogo:** Not this much, no?

 **mitsuki:** the period is doing things to him

 **ryuu:** tenn is also being extremely clingy

 **ryuu:** gaku got back a while ago

 **ryuu:** but

 **gaku:** BRAT LET ME OUT OF OUR ROOM

 **tenn:** no

 **gaku:** I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM

 **tenn:** no

 **gaku:** you clingy bastard

 **gaku:** look i'll give you all the cuddles you want later

 **gaku:** just

 **gaku:** let me uSE THE BATHROOM

 **tenn:** ...

 **tenn:** you get 10 minutes

 **tenn:** also get me donuts from the kitchen

 **gaku:** FINALLY

 **nagi:** good job yaotome-shi! :D

 **ryuu:** the donuts are over here when you need them gaku

 **gaku:** thanks ryuu

 **gaku:** be right back

 **iori:** I'm home

 **iori:** Finally...

 **nagi:** OKAERIIII

 **yamato:** riku's being clingy so hurry up please

 **iori:** Isn't he normally clingy though?

 **mitsuki:** it's never THIS bad

 **riku:** ioriiiiiiii (╥﹏╥)

 **riku:** i want cuddlessssss

 **iori:** Give me a moment, I'll be right there

 **riku:** mmmm i want you here nOWWWWW

 **iori:** Nanase-san-

 **riku:** NOWWWWWW QwQ

 **iori:** ...

 **iori:** Okay it did get pretty bad

 **mitsuki:** SEE

 **iori:** I'm going as fast as I can Nanase-san

 **riku:** ( ≧Д≦)

 **iori:** Yotsuba-san, do you mind warming up the heat pack for me? I don't want Nanase-san to bother you all any longer

 **tamaki:** okeiiiiii

 **riku:** mmmmmmm

 **iori:** Nanase-san, I'm coming, calm down-

 **riku:** finallyyy

 **torao:** you're coming? 👀👀

 **touma:** DAMMIT TORAO

 **touma:** GO TO HORNY JAIL

 **haruka:** ...horny jail?

 **minami:** fufufufufu~

 **tamaki:** rikkun's clingier than drunk souchan!

 **yamato:** facts

 **sogo:** Am I really that bad...?

 **nagi:** yes~

 **yamato:** yes

 **tamaki:** ye

 **mitsuki:** yep

 **sogo:** ...

 **momo:** LOLOLOLOL

 **yuki:** it is quite lively here~ fufufufu

 **yamato:** too lively

 **yamato:** i need a nap

 **mitsuki:** you had one earlier you old man

 **yamato:** your point?

 **haruka:** god what a mood

 **touma:** for once i actually agree

 **touma:** maybe if i nap i'll wake up from this nightmare

 **haruka:** i tried that

 **haruka:** and it didn't fucking work

 **haruka:** this is pure suffering

 **torao:** look on the bright side

 **torao:** you're not on your period

 **minami:** Mido-san is correct

 **minami:** It could be that much worse~

 **tenn:** it is pain

 **tenn:** gaku where are you i want my donuts

 **gaku:** i-

 **gaku:** i just got out of the bathroom

 **tenn:** hurry tf up

 **gaku:** aLRIGHT

 **iori:** Just when I thought Kujo-san couldn't get any bitchier...

 **tenn:** i dare you to say that again Izumi Iori

 **iori:** Bet

 **riku:** noooo don't argueeee qwq

 **yamato:** can you two

 **yamato:** not argue

 **yamato:** for a sINGLE DAY

 **nagi:** OH– yamato is mad ;~;

 **mitsuki:** oh shit

 **mitsuki:** he's actually pissed

 **mitsuki:** i had to stop him from chucking his phone across the room

 **gaku:** wait a second

 **gaku:** nikaido can get mad?

 **yamato:** ... i feel insulted by that somehow

 **sogo:** When he gets mad, he's normally like that for the rest of the day...

 **torao:** i can't tell if that's worse or better than the people on their periods

 **yamato:** bruh stfu

 **haruka:** torao you need more than just horny jail at this point

 **mitsuki:** YAMATO QUIT FIGHTING EVERYONE

 **nagi:** mitsuki, he usually feels better with hugs~

 **mitsuki:** OH RIGHT

 **nagi:** glomp time~

 **momo:** fufufu they went quiet~

 **yuki:** fufufufufu

 **minami:** fufufufu

 **riku:** fufufu

 **iori:** Nanase-san

 **riku:** what? I just wanted to be includedddd ;v;

 **momo:** RIKUUUUU YOU'RE ADORABLE OMG

 **yuki:** that was the cutest thing

 **minami:** How sweet~

 **iori:** ... Nanase-san give me your phone

 **riku:** eh? why?

 **iori:** You need to rest

 **riku:** oh! ok ^^

 **minami:** You were just jealous weren't you~

 **iori:** No

 **momo:** literal tsundere XDDDD

 **iori:** _No_

 **yuki:** just go cuddle, Iori-kun~

 **yuki:** we'll still be here when you're done

 **iori:** ...

 **momo:** darlingggg i want cuddles tooooo TvT

 **yuki:** of course, momo

 **yuki:** come here~

 **momo:** mmmmmm

 **momo:** YUKI IKEMENNNNN

 **gaku:** i left for like 5 minutes wtf

 **tenn:** and you don't need to come back here

 **gaku:** wAIT TENN RWE6IDYGOUIPH

 **touma:** what the f u c k

 **ryuu:** his phone got taken ^^;;;

 **ryuu:** tenn is clinging to him like a koala

 **minami:** That's a surprising image~

 **haruka:** ...minami

 **minami:** Hmm?

 **haruka:** ...

 **minami:** Oh, I see

 **minami:** Of course~ one moment

 **haruka:** can you get the others too?

 **minami:** Alright

 **tamaki:** woaaaa everyone just left to cuddleeeee

 **sogo:** We should stop spamming chat and give them some peace for now

 **ryuu:** agreed ^^


	8. there are 16 idiots among us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Among Us with the bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW THIS IS SO OVERDUE IM SORRYYYY T^T
> 
> My crack muse died and revived itself so many times help

【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 3:59 P.M.】 

**tamaki:** ISUMINNNN 

**haruka:** what? 

**tamaki:** QUIT KILLING ME FIRSTTTTT 

**haruka:** you're an easy target 

**haruka:** you're literally always alone when i find you 

**tamaki:** >:[ 

**momo:** LMAO RIPPPP 

**mitsuki:** i stg if i get imposter oNE MORE TIME– 

**mitsuki:** THAT WAS THE FIFTH TIME IN A ROW 

**touma:** ... 

**touma:** we've only played 5 rounds 

**mitsuki:** I'M WELL AWARE 

**gaku:** ah, are you guys playing among us? 

**tamaki:** ye 

**yamato:** it's a mess 

**iori:** Why did I allow myself to be dragged into this... 

**yamato:** bc riku asked you to play so he understands the game 

**iori:** ... 

**haruka:** simp 

**yamato:** that he is 

**tamaki:** a brocon and a simp 

**momo:** and don't forget a tsundere! 

**iori:** I am not- 

**mitsuki:** Sure sure~ 

**haruka:** fucking liar 

**haruka:** now can we actually start tye next game 

**haruka:** we've been in this lobby for 5 minutes 

**haruka:** we'll be kicked for inactivity at this point 

**momo:** wait wait 

**momo:** nagi, sogo, tenn, join back!! 

**nagi:** sorry, sorry! 

**sogo:** I'm in, sorry for the wait! 

**tenn:** start 

**iori:** You were one of the people we were waiting for 

**tenn:** stfu 

**haruka:** we're starting 

**haruka:** everyone get off your phones 

**haruka:** if i see you online i will murder you 

**tamaki:** murder? 

**tamaki:** sus 

**haruka:** oh my god just focus

  
【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 4:24 P.M.】 

**iori:** ...Good game 

**momo:** heheheh nice kills Iori~ 

**iori:** You too, Momo-san 

**tenn:** why did no one listen to me when i called out izumi iori 

**mitsuki:** I FINALLY DIDN'T GET IMPOSTER HOLY SHIT 

**mitsuki:** I STILL HATE ALL OF YOU FOR VOTING ME OFF FIRST THOUGH LAHSJDHFJ 

**yamato:** it was a valid strategy– 

**tamaki:** you're almost always imposter mikki 

**mitsuki:** and i hate it 

**mitsuki:** it's too stressful 

**momo:** SKSKSKSKSK WORD 

**haruka:** ... 

**haruka:** vsco girl 

**touma:** i- 

**yamato:** aNd i oOp– 

**mitsuki:** it looks so cursed when you're the one who types it ossan 

**gaku:** never do that again 

**nagi:** yamato are you drunk? o.o 

**iori:** Good god 

**iori:** I'm giving my position to Nanase-san now 

**iori:** My sanity will not hold if I keep playing with all of you– 

**tenn:** finally something we agree on 

**tenn: @gaku** you're playing with them now 

**tenn:** i'm going to go eat donuts 

**gaku:** don't eat all of them– 

**tenn:** _bet_

**gaku:** wh 

**gaku:** this isn't something i was gonna bet on- 

**ryuu:** tenn took an entire box ^^; 

**touma:** i- 

**touma:** "an"??? 

**gaku:** they were leftovers from the period fiasco 

**mitsuki:** but didn't you say that he ate like 4 boxes on his own that day???????? 

**sogo:** And didn't you buy 8 boxes? 

**yamato:** how is he eating more 

**tamaki:** that can't be healthyyyy 

**iori:** Says the one who literally has 10+ king puddings a day 

**momo:** aNd tHaTs oN pErIoD 

**tamaki:** SHHH IORIN 

**mitsuki:** im sorry momo-san but what the fuck- 

**sogo:** _Tamaki-kun_

**tamaki:** AAAAA SOU-CHAN NO 

**sogo:** :) 

**tamaki:** AAAAAAAAAAAA 

**mitsuki:** did 

**mitsuki:** did tamaki just die,,, 

**yamato:** i saw sou heading to tama's room 

**yamato:** so yes 

**momo:** RIPP 

**touma:** aside from that, how do any of you have the money to buy all that stuff?? 

**tenn:** because we're actually popular idol groups 

**haruka:** ... 

**touma:** ... 

**momo:** and tHIS is where you say "and i oOP" 

**yamato:** ahhhh okay 

**mitsuki:** wait what don't take notes of that- 

**mitsuki:** OSSAN PUT THE PAPER AWAY YOU DON'T NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN AKDHFKFJ 

**touma:** okay i'm gonna honestly say that was entirely deserved to us though 

**haruka:** ...can we just play among us now- 

**sogo:** Hold on, Riku-kun is joining in 

**riku:** okay! i'm good now! ^^ 

**nagi:** wait sogo did you actually kill tamaki? (・o・) 

**tamaki:** akgdjdhdkdh 

**gaku:** yotsuba? 

**tamaki:** KAGSKDHDKDHKDHD 

**nagi:** OH 

**nagi:** i will be taking that as a yes~ 

**haruka:** good god just start

  
【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 4:47 P.M.】 

**mitsuki:** r 

**mitsuki:** riku are you okay- 

**riku:** ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ 

**touma:** the game isn't over what are you doing- 

**riku:** I don't want to kill anyone... (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩) 

**nagi:** OH riku don't cry~ 

**gaku:** wait he's cRYING?? 

**tamaki:** we moved to rikkun's room to help him with imposter but,,, 

**sogo:** I was imposter with him and I got voted off just now 

**yamato:** and sou was the one killing this whole time 

**nagi:** and riku feels sad because he doesn't want to kill anyone 

**haruka:** couldn't he just sabotage us to death 

**tamaki:** isumin we'd still die 

**sogo:** The oxygen running out and reactor meltdown is still a form of killing us 

**yamato:** thus riku refuses to use that either 

**tenn:** just let riku win 

**gaku:** tenn that just ruins the point of the game 

**tenn:** let 

**tenn:** riku 

**tenn:** w i n 

**gaku:** ... 

**gaku:** aight– 

**yamato:** that was a quick change of mind yaotome 

**gaku:** tenn is giving me a death stare from across the room 

**yamato:** makes sense 

**touma:** aight everyone vote yourselves off 

**gaku:** please do 

**gaku:** before i die– 

**haruka:** this is a nightmare

  
【♪☆ **Idol Chat** ☆♪– 4:33 P.M.】 

**nagi:** OH 

**mitsuki:** WHAT 

**mitsuki:** IT WAS Y A O T O M E????? 

**tenn:** wow

 **tenn:** you're actually good at something for once 

**gaku:** YOU– 

**ryuu:** now now ^^;;; 

**ryuu:** no fighting please 

**yamato:** i feel kinda bad for tsunashi-san 

**sogo:** Agreed... 

**mitsuki:** none of our kids are that bad,,, 

**touma:** kids??? 

**iori:** They've just fully accepted the role of IDOLiSH7's parents now 

**riku:** they have always been parent-like :D 

**haruka:** huh 

**haruka:** wild 

**haruka:** anyway i'm closing the lobby now 

**tamaki:** awwww whyyyy 

**haruka:** 1) i need to grind for best girl 

**haruka:** 2) you're all annoying 

**tamaki:** ISUMINNNN >:[ 

**haruka:** b y e


End file.
